Friends, everyone talks about happiness, no one talks of the things that destroy our happiness, situations that make us feel miserable!

Just like happiness is in our own hands, only we can deal with our own happiness busters. Important thing is to learn to handle these happiness spoilers.

Taking lessons from my own personal experiences and that of my close friends, I am sharing with you….


1] Comparison & Jealousy

We lived in the Navy Nagar, Colaba, Bombay for almost five years. We enjoyed a secure, simple, contended, life in the defence establishment. Children had a whale of a time, we socialized with our fellow officers, we were happy.

We got our posting to Delhi, initially, we were thrilled to be back with our in-laws and parents. Slowly the comparison started, we ended up feeling like nomads and the poor cousins in Delhi’s materialistic society.

Our children too got influenced; so much so that one day our son said,” Papa, why don’t you open a shop in Khan market?” We were stunned, at age 10 our son was no more proud of his father serving the nation!

Within six months our happy, contented family had changed!

Lesson 1…..Friends, stop focusing on wrong things, material possessions, money, and status. It is not easy when day in and day out we are bombarded with advertisements, as though buying things will assure happiness and when success is measured in terms of money.

2] Having fixated goals and high aspirations—

We constantly push ourselves and our children to be achievers, we forget that not everyone can be a star. As long as one is earning enough to cater for the basic needs, lives a respectable life, and is content and happy with his/her own achievements, all is well. Aiming high and striving to excel is good, do work towards achieving your goals and leave the rest to destiny.

My older son had set his heart on joining IIT,  he started taking correspondence courses when he was still in class nine and joined the famous Vidya Mandir coaching center in class 11th. Though he was a very bright student he could not cope with the rigorous schedule; he got so disheartened that he changed his stream from science to commerce even in his school.

All of us felt so depressed and unhappy at that time, today he is a renowned Economist and a successful Investment Banker.    

Lesson 2….Just work hard, have faith, if one thing doesn’t work, something better is out there waiting for you!

This is what our Bhagavad Gita teaches us…. Concentrate on your goal, do your work, focus not on the result!

3] Fake friends and relationships—

Frivolous, fake friends, superficial relationships, and bonds fostered with an ulterior motive in mind are sure-shot happiness killers. Such relationships are a waste of time, energy, and emotions, the sooner one can weed them out the better it is. And, friends only when one is going through a tough period, one realizes which ones are long-lasting, meaningful relationships and who all are the fair-weather friends.

Lesson 3…. Just 3-4 stable friends/relations who support you when you are down and out are enough to lead a happy life.

Who needs scores of fakers?

Please undertake this exercise

*Make a list of genuine people in your life.

*Can you bank on them in times of need?

*Are you in constant touch with them?

*Do they live nearby? in the same city?

Please share in your comments, how many such people are there in your life?

Nurture those relationships,

Be there for them,


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