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GRANDPARENTING …. in today’s times!

Friends, have you heard about the “JAPA MAIDS”? I had not heard about this new breed of maids till about a couple of years ago. Nowadays, amongst the affluent and upper-middle-class families it’s the done thing to engage a Japa maid when a child is born.

Who is a JAPA maid/bai?

A Japa maid is an elderly lady, who has ample experience of looking after the new born baby and the young mother. She takes complete care of the baby, bathing, massaging, changing diapers, helping the new mother in feeding, making the baby burp, in short all that the mother-in law or the mother used to do in good old days, is done by this lady. Though they are hired for the first Forty days after delivery, often this period is extended to 3 months to even a year.

Why are they so much in demand?

There are many reasons besides the prestige attached, for hiring one when a new baby is expected.

A) These days quite a few young mother-in-laws/ mothers are professionals, many enjoy a hectic social life having no time to shoulder this responsibility. Their point of view,” Well, we raised our children own way, now, you do it your own way”.

B) Unfortunately, in many families a daughter-in-law may not be very comfortable with her in-laws she would rather have a Japa maid, whom she can instruct as per her requirements.

C)     Some new mothers might be living separately as a nuclear family, with no elder female relative to guide them….so it becomes a necessity.

Advantages of employing a JAPA maid

1) Very often these Japa maids are village women who have raised at least a dozen or so babies, their own and also the grandchildren, they have ample experience while we have handled our own one or two children at least 25-30 years ago, surely friends we are out of practice.

2) For new mothers who don’t have an older lady in the family to guide them through this important phase of life, these Japa bais are a boon, all the wisdom and experience at such a small cost.                                                                                                                

And the relationship is that of Madam and the Maid, they can be told, what to do, and what not to do; try telling your mother-in-law the dos and don’ts!

3) Since the maid takes over all the baby’s jobs and takes care of the new mother, the household runs smoothly, everybody is able to enjoy the baby without feeling hassled.

And the Disadvantages?

Friends, nothing can be all hunky dory, there are some minuses too of keeping a Japa maid: –

a)     These maids are quite set in their ways, they tend to do what they have feel is right as per their experience, they might ignore doctors/ your instructions.

b)     They can be quite demanding, one has to give them all the meals, they don’t do any household work, they are quite expensive too.

My sister paid a bomb plus an expensive saree and a piece of silverware, still the maid left with a grumpy face.

c)     When the baby is left under the care of the maid, grandparents, father, even the siblings are deprived of the initial bonding with the newborn child, mind you this bonding is so important, goes a long way. The touch, voice and the cozy lap does register even to a newborn.

Tips for the Grandparents

My first grand child was born on Feb.20th 2020 in USA, due to Covid19 we have not been able to meet her physically for one whole year, however we have been video chatting every single day and she does recognize our voice.

Friends, if you are lucky to be close to your grandkids, spend as much time as possible with them, try to be hands on grandparents.

This is the beginning of a great alliance,

DON’T MISS the CHANCE.

As they say,” grandparents and the grandchildren are the best friends…..WHY?

Because they have a common enemy in between!”

So, Japa maid or no Japa maid,

Let’s just enjoy our grandkids,

Renuka.  

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